Put a positive spin on things

Now, people that know me would say I’m quite serious and pretty blunt with his opinions. I mean, it’s sort of true. I’m a blunt guy. I only say bad things, when it is to make a point. However no one wants to be around, hang around, or work with a negative nancy.

Well to put it into perspective, if you are talking with a person who usually complains, and paints things or others in a bad light that negativity spills onto you. This is why I think it’s better to have a positive perspective/spin on the things we say. You wouldn’t enjoy conversation or being around a person who just complains and talks bad about others.

I’ll show an example of a negative statement, then put a positive twist to it.

Now let’s see… There are plenty of real life experiences I could talk about. However I’m going to go with something hypothetical, in this point of my life, if something is bad and I have nothing good to say about it, I rather say nothing at all. Besides, there are some things we shouldn’t disclose, to save face.

Let’s go with an example of a breakup with an ex. You meet this person, (if your a girl, on a date, a guy, just chatting), maybe start chatting on past, and exes. Well something went wrong with this guy’s previous relationship.

The relationship with my last girlfriend did not work out well. We started off seeing eachother often and we felt like we hit it off. She was not very responsible with her own well being, she had no self control over her extraneous expensves. To top it off she was still in school, so she was not good at managing her priorities. What was my biggest mistake was being so desperate to be have a girlfriend, that we moved in together in a small apartment paid with my own. But I started working long hours and when I went home I would just come back to constant gnagging. After a while I didn’t even realize it, but she was seeing another guy. We argued a lot, up to the point she kicked me out of my own apartment to sort things out. In the meantime I bet she was inviting the other man over. so there I was living back at home, but struggling get her back. All while paying for her expenses, while another guy was living under my roof. Well enough was enough, I cut it off. After that it made me miserable that I had to take a break from seeing women for awhile.

Well alright hell, this little story isn’t true, but it is quite full of negativity, and paints the guy, and his ex-girlfriend in a very bad light. Imagine just sitting for drinks with someone you just met, and he pours this out. Both guys and girls would know hes insecure, a complainer, not in his center, a negative nancy and a person who can’t really read a situation, and would generally not be fun to hang out with.

If this guy wants to tell a similar story it needs to come off a little nicer. He can still tell the truth. He needs to highlight the positive aspects, know how to turn around the bad parts into parts of self-reflection and talk about parts on what he can do to improve and what he got out of this experience.

The relationship with my last girlfriend had its ups and downs. At first it was great, we focused a lot on making eachother happy and enjoying eachother’s company. There were some rough patches to our relationships, and I thought I could fix those things by moving things a bit faster. Ultimately it wasn’t the greatest move. She could have been treated better. The man that I was then, was not the man that she deserved. I could not give the right love and attention to her as things became more difficult with us spending less time with eachother. From that I knew we weren’t in the place where we could be together anymore. I was lost, but after some time and reflecting I realized I rushed certain important things, and her reactions were the in response to that. Now knowing what I do now, when I’m with someone I deem important, I’m there to give and show them how important they are to me. So from our previous relationship, I think I’ve gained something important out of it that made me a better man.

Haha, well this situation I gave myself was quite challenging but a fun exercise to shape into a positive writeup. Anyways, the message here is that it’s all about perspective on your experiences. Yes, there are the bad points that you have, but you will have to phrase those things in a way to not come off as a downer. Also, we wouldn’t just use this when talking with people, but life in general, we have to look at the positive side of things.