Personal Journalling Insights
Background
Almost every evening for the past 60 days I have picked up the ritual of journalling.
Not only was this further prompted and reinforced by Stoic practices but I was curious in documenting my progress, thoughts and feelings at the end of each day.
I have picked up this practiced in the past for another long stretch of time but dropped it because I was also setting up many other positive routines and rituals in my life – it was one of things I had to let go and revisit later. For the past two months it was the right time.
Consistently I was going over my day, jotting down events that transpired, things I achieved, my overall energy levels as the day progressed, interesting things that happened and my feelings/reactions towards certain events.
The realizations
On Thursday evening I paid more attention to what I was writing. I usually have a good mix of thoughts that come out but lately my entries have been focused on all the objectives and accomplishments that I completed and achieved.
Highly conscientious people tend to be oriented on personal success and look towards progression frequently. Though the downside of this is always seeking to finish, complete things in order to move onto the next thing.
This mindset is great for getting sh*! done at work, but not great when enjoying time as is. To rephrase, my current way of thinking is not exactly ’living’ life, running towards something thinking that I am being chased by time and urgency but in reality I am racing against myself.
The Stoics and Taoists emphasize of stillness and being. That is, being present in the moment. Something that I need to be more aware of.
It made me think of the fun and opportunities I’ve missed out on…. For example this Tuesday I caught up with some friends from my high school days as one was visiting from out of town. We had a pleasant time enjoying each others’ company.
The night came to a close as we parted ways. Commuting back home with two pals we had a jolly good time cracking jokes and sharing our experiences. As if we never really grew up. They wanted to catch a late night movie. Something fairly tame and not so dangerous such as drinking or partying late on a week night. However I had to profusely deny this out of my own rigid structure and way of living.
They poked, prodded, urged me to join them but I was unwavering. Eventually they understood. I was quite content with our time together and happy that I could get home in time for my nightly rituals, but it’s not how I should be always.
Anyone and everyone who knows me has the same comment about my behaviours, I listen but I have this sense or urgency to always to complete things and move on to the next thing on a schedule.
The takeaway:
The lesson is to loosen up a bit. Easier said than done.
Realizations and examining ourselves is essentially the biggest benefit and power of journalling.
The experience that night and my journalling brought forth something that I will be cognizant of:
Being present, being still, enjoying the moment.